Music

A Fine Mess

we talk it out to no avail
I’m ready to call it a night
you flip the coin from head to tail
I guess talk isn’t worth much

alcohol and ethical decay
holding hands they take the wheel
“life is just a stroke of grey”
I tell myself as I give in

I will go along with this tonight
even though I’m not sure
I will follow up this dance with phone calls and letters
even though I know I can’t

lost alone, you’ve gone so far
would you take it back if you could?
I’d like to say, I’ve no regret
even though some things I should

you are sorry now
that we ever met
sorry I couldn’t explain
but don’t go laying blame
nothing left to say
life is a stroke of grey

And You Know That I Care

and you say that you’re fine
but there’s something inside
that pushes you away

and the crowd that you’re in
doesn’t seem to give a shit
about the way you feel today

and your parents are there
and they say that they care
but you know that they don’t know

and you say just one more line
and you’ll be fine
but you know you can’t go on
it can’t go away

and you pray at night
for something to brighten up
all those damn dark days

and you shoot up the smack
but you lay in your bed
and you get lost in your head

and your job is your life
never seems quite right
maybe because its gone

and you say just leave me alone
and go back to your home
but you know you can’t live like this
just don’t let you fade

just don’t let you fade
cause you know there’s something more that this

Chemical Memory

The nicotine makes my heart beat like it did before
When you were with me and I knew what to use it for

I can't do a thing
With a head full of chemicals
I can't concentrate
When you're in my periphery

Now I'm getting ripped off chemical reactions
In my brain that let me see your face again

My hand shakes as I reach for the glass
The ice breaks when you're drinking too fast

I can't do a thing
With a head full of chemicals
I can't concentrate
When you're in my periphery

Conscience

one, two, three, weeks together
now I can't be apart
lose Control of my senses in your presence
damn it's good lying with you
but hold on

forced to run, before we crawl
I've got something you need to know
honesty seems perilous
as I look in your eyes tonight
I'll hold you dear, never let go
if you promise to do the same

find good times in the bad ones
only with you
feels like I've known you forever
I'll be here for you, will you?

almost better
not to know
as everything changes
I'm left alone

Eight-Hour Monday

holding this night for a ransom
cell phone at arm's length
I'm not a fool for believing
only if it rings
alone I don't know where to go
so useless

I hope you are thinking of me right now alone
as I sit and stone my every comforting thought dead

I walk along, solemn fences in my mind.
are you in, or do I need to let this die?
too much thought, mixed with beer and my desire.
stumbling blind over curves and spoken lines.

trying to cheer up the mirror
convincing the face not to cry
feel like an old tattered sweater
dated and hung out to dry
how do you feel about it all
so soon to tell

it's true that actions are just sentiments unsaid
eight hours on hold are speaking each one louder yet

Independence From Washington

seconds go by and still I cry
for a moment lost and a dollar gone
each sip I take, drag I waste
another dollar spent that’s not my own

not my own

independence from Washington

every minute I sit here at this bar
is another I could have used better
breaking away from these chains
that hold my mind

hold my mind

independence from Washington

My Vicious Cycle

your hand covered my mouth
without my noticing
stripped bare and bruised I lie
losing my will to fight

and all the words I couldn't say
are screaming in my head

but everything I've done for you
I'll do over again

Nineteen

for 19 years time, you’ve been here and gone
you never said why
I grew up all along, at the end of phone lines
still you never called

I want you to sit down and make up your mind
crawl out from the things that you’re hiding behind
hiding behind
make up your mind

what could be wrong when nothing right is good
and you’re drowning in it
when I hear your voice a rope is thrown from shore
but my scars take on water

fuck you for time

On Your Team

Words by Russ Rollins

I've got a lot of people to answer to
It's a heavy burden
friends and foes and in between are demanding all my time
I've been pushed and pulled and turned around
And I think it's made me blind

Cause no matter where you are I'm on your team

You can put me in, in with your heart
Been waiting for my chance, we'll never be apart
I'm on your team

Somehow I forgot what's important
Your work, or your friends, or your wife
But while I ask this question
It's like I'm letting you down

Cause no matter where you are I'm on your team

You can put me in, in with your heart
Been waiting for my chance, we'll never be apart
I'm on your team

I think I missed the point
Forgot where I needed to be
It's like I'm in a crowded room and you're not next to me
If I can't have you near me I just want to scream

You can put me in, in with your heart
Been waiting for my chance, we'll never be apart
I'm on your team

ReVamp

vapid mind, my thoughts
are stolen by the flicking TV

what a waste, of skin
my weary frame is turning into

cold and dead, my heart
is fighting to maintain its beating

I have to get out

walk, alone, with no
idea where I'm going

pass, the doors, I use
to steal me from this misery

think, of the sound, my neck
would make when it hit the Mississippi

I see one way out
passing thoughts, moving on

Simple Story

look calmly to the left and turn my blinker on
I'm making this decision to go home
I need to figure out, the reasons I'm in doubt
of letting someone new into my heart

it's times like these, I'm on my knees
begging for my ego to let go
before she backs out
and goes away, goes away

this is no simple story
I've been too long in purgatory
could this, is she, everything I wanted?
and I am holding out
could I, be blind, for just one moment in my life
without a doubt

what can I say about her? I put the coffee on
it perks while I am listing pros and cons
it's a cynical debate, whose outcome holds the fate
of a boy who's spent too long inside this place

Tanlines In January

as you fucking ignore me
my smile falls to concrete
along with my frozen tears

don't throw your eyes
so coyly to the side
pretending to forget I'm near

I am bone dry
because you pierced my side
with the back edge of your pretty blade

the cold trickles in
through the hole in my skin
and the blood freezes fast in my veins

last week in my head
I can't seem to comprehend
how I fucked this thing up from the start

held by notions, I'm worthless to you
I never considered, inverses are true

Won't Sit Down

off and on, in a six-year love affair
this bond to you has brought me down again
I don't know how to tell you
I'm not content to live the script we've written for our lives
this is my time, this is my prime

holding on, these chains are strong
nothing seems to break you
I played my hand, right to you and
nothing seems to faze you
how do I say I don’t want you?
how do I say I don’t care?
how do I get you to understand everything I just don’t know how to say?

you will cry, I will sit there silently
thinking back to 1999
history is repeating
I guess your friends were right about me
I fucked up, again again

without you, I'm eight feet tall
without you, I feel my toes in the ground
without you, the air is like wine
I'm drunk all the time